You’re Not Who You Think You Are

I was thinking about a conversation that I’ve been having with the moms in my FREE Facebook Group about conditioning. It led me to open up a conversation about, and remind myself about the meaning of, the widely used idea or concept of:

“Who am I, really?”

“Who are you, in truth?”

It’s a beautiful concept taught in really any area of conscious living, conscious wellness, conscious parenting, self-transformation, self-development, wisdom, spirituality, you name it.

But I have to admit that it was a long time before I actually grasped what this idea means, and why understanding it is so important.

Here’s the thing. When I first heard this term, I thought to myself, “I know who I am. I’m Indian.  A girl. I’m a mother. An event designer who loves colors and flowers. I love to laugh and funny pranks. I love fashion.”  

But while all (or some) of that might still be true for me, they also can create suffering in me.  

Just because I am an event designer doesn’t mean that every part of designing events is something that I’m naturally good at. In order for me to be good at them, I’ve got to practice.

Just because I’m a mother doesn’t mean that every part of being a mom comes naturally to me.  In order for me to fully connect with my child, I’ve got to practice.

But there are parts of being an event designer that do come naturally to me, that feel effortless. I do those parts really well. And there are parts of being a mother that come naturally to me, that flow through me, and I do those parts really well, too.

But it doesn’t make sense to say that I am just an event designer, or that I am just a mother. Who I am is an infinite amount of possibilities, and the same goes for you. 

You are an infinite amount of possibilities. Some possibilities will come with a natural ease, and others you will need to practice.

Let’s look at it another way.

Physiologically, I know that my cells die and are reborn at every moment. So who I was physiologically 5 seconds ago is not who I am now. Yes?

The same goes for our consciousness. As our lives progress from moment to moment, we change and evolve based on our experiences.

So if that’s true, then saying “I” and “me” doesn’t make sense. If I were to identify completely with “I” identities, then I believe that who I am now is also who I was 5 seconds ago. And as we’ve seen, that’s simply not true.

So who am I? I just am. I am my consciousness. We are our consciousnesses. We are our ability to make sense of our process – our thoughts, emotions, memories, and feelings – in every moment.

From a physiological perspective, we are our nervous system. Our ability to integrate and regulate that system of unique energy traits(our sensitivities, for example) is who we are. That innate energy is who we show up as every moment we are in the world.

So, who do you think you are?

What images or words come to your mind when you describe yourself?

What do others describe you as?