Understanding Love and Fear

If your kind of content is short, sweet, and designed to inform without drowning you in information, the video I shared this week on Instagram will be perfect for you!

In this video, you’ll hear me talk about these points:

• We know that we are physically conceived when a sperm joins with an egg.  This process creates our physical body. But it’s not the only body we have. From the perspective of quantum physics or simply by virtue of our feelings, we know that we carry an emotional body. 
• We are born as Love. Love expresses itself in an infant as forgiveness, curiosity, and compassion. How do we know? Ask yourself how easy it is for your infant to express forgiveness.  
• As infants, we are unable to see (both literally and figuratively) or understand ourselves. We look to our caretakers and mimic them in order to understand who we are. 
• In this process, we learn that in order to fit in and belong in our environment, we need to mimic what our caretakers find acceptable and avoid what they don’t.
• Before language, and as our senses developed, we communicated through two energies: Love, which is innate, and a fear to love, which is learned.
• For example, when we giggled and our caretakers responded with excitement, we perceived our behavior as ‘acceptable’ and giggled more. We interpreted that, in order to be loved, we should giggle more. When we cried and our caretakers reacted with frustration, we perceived that our behavior was ‘unacceptable’ and learned to shut down. We interpreted that we were alone. 
• In this way, we learned thousands of conditions by the age of 2, “acceptable and unacceptable” ways of doing (and not doing) things. 
• While many of the things we learned (whether acceptable or not) serve us today, the problem remains if they create suffering. The suffering is a result of the conditions we didn’t understand. They got stuck as emotions in our body.  
• This stuck emotion (or trigger) is what we refer to as our inner child.  
• While we have physically grown, the child inside of us has not. In order for this child to grow and align with our physical growth, we must help the child make sense of what they didn’t understand.  
• We can only do so if we understand our conditioning.  
• By ignoring our suffering, we will stay with the suffering and even pass it onto our children.

You can watch the video here, and you’re welcome to join my free private Facebook Group where we talk about all the ways in which we’ve been conditioned.  

You’ve heard this term, you see some truth in it, and yet it’s hard to believe that it implies that everything we know in language is an illusion.

I know.  I get it.  It’s hard to fathom at first.

You say to yourself “so what isn’t conditioning?” or “does that mean that basically everything is conditioning?”

The simple answer is everything is conditioning.  Does that feel shocking?  I understand.  But I can tell you from where I stand today, that once the shock subsides, it actually makes the undertaking to unlearn everything we know much easier.

I suppose our ability to accept that the only thing that truly exists is love is what’s shocking. If we remain vulnerable to that love, we will transform it into opportunities for growth and healing.  I assure you, while the path can feel like a long one, it’s a rewarding one.

Understanding and knowing that we are inherently beings of love matters!  Because when we do, we’re able to enter new possibilities and perspectives.

With those, we find ourselves co-creating and negotiating solutions that are mutually beneficial for ourselves, our children, and for others.

Use these 3 steps to help start your journey back to your innate state of being:  love

1. Set your intention, whether that may be to seek a more fulfilled life for yourself or your children, and keep that intention front and center.
2. Support yourself with the process of unlearning. Whether it’s through coaching, doing a course, or engaging in a community of like-minded people, be a part of something that believes the truth.  By doing so, you’re aligning yourself in order to realize your desire more efficiently. ⁠
3. Have compassion for yourself. Learning anything new takes time (so does unlearning). There will be days where you take 3 steps backwards before taking 2 more forward. But this is the way of journeying back to love. When you show up, consistently and completely detached from needing to control when you’ll love, you’ll love.