Are You Seeking Attention, Connection or Alignment?

Are you seeking attention, connection, or alignment in your relationships?

Those are a few concepts I use a lot, and some of the questions I hear are “What do ‘attention’, ‘connection’, and ‘alignment’ mean in the context of Conscious Living and Parenting? How can I apply these concepts to my real-life relationships?

I get it.  It can be confusing because it seems like their definitions are intertwined.

Getting clear on the difference matters, because the experience allows you to make conscious choices about yourself and the relationship in question.

Here’s what you need to know:

Attention: is a need to bring notice to where there is tension in the body.

In order to determine if a part of you is seeking attention, you might ask yourself:

• When I’m with __________ (person) and we are __________ (activity), I notice ___________ (feeling) in my body.
• When I’m with __________ (person) and we are not __________ (activity), I notice __________ (feeling) in my body.

If the feeling in the body varies between both prompts, it’s likely you are seeking attention. In other words, beneath those feelings is a core belief that you don’t feel worthy, and therefore need __________ (person) to fill this void.

Connection:  is a state of being that arises within oneself out of a deep understanding of oneself, and therefore of the other person. In other words, there can only be connection with the other person when you feel connection to yourself.

• I notice __________ (feeling) in my body when I understand why I feel the way I do.
• I notice __________ (feeling) in my body when I don’t understand why I feel the way I do.

Alignment:  is a high energy state regardless of external circumstances. Not only is there connection to yourself, but also to the other person and the universe itself. There is hope, irrespective of challenges. The body is in a state of calm because there is trust in a higher force that if you and the other person are to align, it will happen.

• I notice __________ (feeling) in my body when I’m  __________ (activity), even though I understand why I feel the way I do.
• I notice __________ (feeling) in my body when I’m not __________ (activity) because I understand why I feel the way I do.

Do you find that these sorts of prompts are helping you work through your thoughts and feelings, you might be interested in getting a monthly membership to The Path to Conscious Parenting. There, you will have access to an entire resource library designed to help you connect with your emotions.