Learning How to Co-Create the Realities We Desire with Our Child, Using Our New Awareness
That’s the logical and practical part of understanding the importance of awareness.
If you’re still on the fence about why this is the only way through, allow me to share the philosophy behind what I’ve learned.
Albert Einstein once said, “You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew.”
In other words, we must learn a new awareness if the one we’re in isn’t working.
I’ll share a personal story.
I hardly considered myself a religious person, let alone spiritual when I began this work.
I was desperate for a new way of connecting and understanding my son, Jian, which is what led me down the amazing path of spirituality.
It’s still sometimes odd for me to use that word. I prefer to say the “path to authenticity” but, at the end of the day, these are only words to relay the message I’m sharing.
My journey of choice and creation started when Jian was 3. Until then, I struggled to connect and understand him, finding myself constantly bumping heads with him; even at 1.5 years old, when he was barely speaking a few words.
I remember that when he was still an infant, he could sense my anxiety around wanting to be busy while I was nursing him. The moment I picked up my phone in one hand, he unlatched, showing his frustration and leaving me in physical pain.
Shortly after he turned 3, I discovered the revolutionary @drshefali. Her work helped me radically accept that there was something majorly wrong in all the ways I was reacting to his cautious and sensitive nature. It was creating a lot of stress in his body and mine.
What’s interesting, though, is that I knew I had a loss of awareness in my intuition. I knew I had trouble connecting to him. But I had trouble admitting it, for a fear of feeling incapable of being his mom.
But that’s the amazing thing about nature, you see. When we have trouble coming to the realization of our resistance on our own, nature will deliver the lesson in another form. In my case, in the physical pain I suffered through nursing him.
I had more signs than I can count on two hands leading me to why I needed to become curious about another way of parenting him.
@drshefali she helped me realize and accept the inevitable sooner rather than later.
My biggest takeaway from her was that I wasn’t the problem. If you resonate with my posts, the most important thing that you should take away from them is that you aren’t, either.
The loss of awareness or understanding that we each individually have unique energy states, IS the problem.
Not knowing that Jian’s energy state was unique from mine had me parenting him from only one perspective, my own energy state.
It takes some level of commitment to understand what energy is, and why it’s important as parents, so align our energies to our young children to ensure they feel safe.
I use the word ‘commitment’, because for someone like me who didn’t have strong religious or spiritual beliefs, I had to first commit to learning – and then trusting- that energy can be real and at the same time unseen.
It’s an invisible force of nature.
Have you ever been in the mountains and suddenly felt peaceful?
Or played in snow and felt light?
Or swam in the ocean and felt meditative?
Or sat on the beach and felt relaxed?
Or stood by a waterfall and felt happy?
If the answer is yes, what you felt is the unique frequencies of energy that different parts of nature offer.
In other words, by going to the mountains, you shifted your energy state to that feeling of peace.
That’s what I’m talking about. If we want to find the secrets of how to align ourselves with our child, we must first make them feel safe.
They feel safe when they know we understand them.
When they feel safe, they create with us, not against us.
But we only understand them when we understand ourselves.
And we understand ourselves when we become aware of what our energy state is.
Human beings are creatures of alignment. If we want to co-create and co-exist in the realities we each desire, it is important in a parent and child relationship that our energies align.
Our energy is invincible. We cannot change it. We are born with it and it falls somewhere along the masculine and feminine energy spectrum.
To help you understand, I’ll use my child as an example. Jian is more connected in being himself, in his intuition, and in his body. This shows up in his qualities of being creative, structured, loyal, empathetic, honest, highly intellectual, and wise.
While in contrast, I’m analytical, logical, and grounded in taking action. This shows up in my qualities of being confident, courageous, passionate, social, resilient, determined, and trusting.
But in order for me to connect with his energy, I must first soften my energy and align to his so that he feels safe enough to co-create with me.
When we enter our child’s energy field, we learn new ways to see our original problems, and we begin to question things from a different perspective to help solve them.
When our 4 year old pushes our 11 month old, we could question how much quality time we have spent with our 4 year old.
When our 7 year old forgets for the 10th time, we can wonder if we could set him up with an easy system to help him remember.
When our 5 year old lies about how much screen time she used, we could ask ourselves; when was the last time that I told her I would do something, and never did?
When our 6 year old hoards her toys, we can consider how possessive we might be about others sharing our phone, food, or space.
When our 8 year old doesn’t want to play fair, we can look back and think; when was the last time I asked him for his opinion?
When our 3 year old has a meltdown, we can ask ourselves; have I asked her why she’s upset?
I’ve put together a Group Coaching Intensive, on an introduction to Conscious Parenting and Living. You’ll get to work closely with me for 3 months and you’ll get:
A personal welcome call to begin your journey and establish your intentions for our time together.
A weekly Live Group Workshop and Q&A, where you will join a discussion about the three foundational concepts.
A Facebook group, where you receive guidance that will help you apply these concepts into your relationships with your children and life. You’ll receive responses and support from me for your posts within 24-48 hours.
Would you be interested?
