How to Know If You Should Keep a Relationship/Friendship
Are you struggling between wanting to create a boundary in a relationship(any relationship; friendly, romantic, etc.), or considering whether it’s time to let go of a relationship and simply wish you knew which was needed?
If so, these three questions may guide your inquiry.
Ask yourself…
- What is one positive need this relationship fills for me or those I love(for example, my children, parents, siblings, etc.)?
- If you could change one thing about this relationship, what would it be?
- If that one thing you could change shifts, would you maintain this relationship?
If you answered 2 and 3, then it’s likely you need help with learning how to create a healthy boundary.
Boundaries are so important, because we are essentially teaching others what our limits are and how to love us, what we’re willing to do and not do, and how we want to see and experience ourselves in the relationships we’ve chosen. Click here to learn more about what it looks like to set and hold unhealthy and healthy boundaries in relationships.
Another very important question to help you understand how to know if you should keep the relationship going is to ask yourself: Am I struggling with my feelings when I’m interacting in this relationship, or am I struggling with how to communicate my boundaries?
If you need help with how to communicate your boundaries, then here are some examples of what you can say to hold a boundary:
“I need more time to express myself and to understand that you [state the problem]. Can you commit to spending an hour with me every other day to help us understand each other? [make the request].”
“I can no longer speak to you every day because I’m working on containing my energy [state the problem] so that I can do what I need to connect back to myself [express your need]. This may be hard at first, I know. Know that I still love you. [describe your feeling/offer reassurance].”
Give it a try. If you need help with communicating a specific boundary, or with learning how to express your feelings feel FREE to schedule a one-on-one consultation with me. We can brainstorm the communication and see how it feels for you.
