3 Questions to Reflect on Before Losing your Temper

“I screamed at him, and then shamed him.  Now I feel guilt.

How do I stop acting like this?”

Have you felt like this?

It’s one of the most common struggles I hear when I talk to moms about practicing Conscious Parenting.

But developing the right awareness and tools can allow you to take those frustrating moments where you’re just surviving, and create opportunities to thrive instead.

Next time this happens, take 3 minutes to reflect on 3 questions:

1. How are your child’s actions making you feel?
2. What do you need for your child to do?
3. What is the problem if they don’t do what you’re asking them to do?

And the final bonus question to ask yourself:

Is what you believe about the problem 100% true?

Reflect on what lessons arise.

You’ll see what you’re requesting of them in a whole new light, and allow for clearer communication:

“Go brush your teeth right now” can turn into an opportunity to teach self-worth. “Your teeth are protecting you. They need you to keep them clean, so they can help you eat. Please take care of them so that they can take care of you.”⁠⁠

“Put your face over the plate when you eat, the crumbs are falling on the floor” can turn into an opportunity to teach responsibility. “I see you want to use that small plate to eat. It may be hard to keep your face over it. If you still choose to use it, then I expect you to vacuum after you’re done eating.”⁠

“Why do you always forget to turn the bathroom light off?” can turn into an opportunity to teach presence. “How can I help you focus, so you can remember to turn the bathroom light off? Shall we practice sitting in silence for 5 minutes each time you forget?”⁠

“Why are you scared? There is nothing to be scared about,” turns into an opportunity to teach resilience. “You’re scared. I want you to know you’re safe. Can you find an example where what you’re scared about is true? No? Then can it be true that your worry isn’t true?”⁠

“Stop crying and go play together” turns into an opportunity to teach freedom. “It’s your choice if you want to play with her or not. Check-in with your feelings and decisions. I’ll support you either way.”⁠

This is a practice.

It takes time, and you can learn to stay intentional in the moment.

The good news is that you have already started the journey by starting to explore a more conscious style of parenting. And the better news is that progress does not have to look like perfection! In fact, I can promise you it won’t. And that’s ok.

I would love to invite you to explore this further, along with more ways to develop a more choice and curiosity-driven conscious parenting experience. It is possible to create the reality and relationships you desire.

The Foundations to Conscious Parenting group coaching intensive is designed from my own experiences and the experiences of other moms that I’ve worked with, to support you in that process. It’s not about supplying you with a cookie-cutter solution or feeding your ideology. 

It’s about creating the space and support you need to find your areas for growth and healing, shift and transform within yourself, and heal so that you can approach your life and your relationships in the way you desire innately.

It’s a wonderful, intimate, safe group of other moms on the same journey. If you’re ready to go deeper, we’d love to have you! Take a look at the details and how to begin the process here.