[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#a397a7″ custom_padding=”7px|||||”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ width=”100%” saved_tabs=”all” collapsed=”off”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/jilnajasani.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/jillna-flower-topper-01.png” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ max_width=”350px” module_alignment=”center”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_post_title meta=”off” featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ title_font=”Kurale|||on|||||” title_text_align=”center” title_font_size=”40px”][\/et_pb_post_title][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/jilnajasani.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/What-Does-Choice-Mean-to-Me.jpg” _builder_version=”4.4.2″][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ text_font_size=”19px” header_font_size=”45px” header_2_font=”|||on|||||” header_2_font_size=”32px” custom_padding=”||0px|||”]<\/p>\n
A lot of emotions may come up as you explore all the areas in which you feel traumatized: your feelings, thought patterns, and bodily sensations. It\u2019s okay to feel these emotions. Be gentle with yourself. This is new information, and anything new is challenging. There will be times where you feel at ease and invigorated by the truth that arises, and there will also be times where you feel challenged. This is normal, because the ego mind is a habitual survival mechanism that is there to protect you from discomfort. And anything uncomfortable can feel challenging to overcome. You are learning to understand who it is you are, by listening to what your inner child needs. You are learning to re-parent a part of you that was created unknowingly. It\u2019s a sacred journey, where you MUST have compassion for yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/jilnajasani.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/person-standing-in-pathway-744912-scaled.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ max_height=”607px”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ text_font_size=”19px”]<\/p>\n You are learning to reconnect with yourself, by feeling into your body and where the emotions feel trapped while simultaneously learning how to stay present without being hijacked into the past. This is the route to healing.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Albert Einstein said that pain cannot be resolved at the same level of thought that created it.<\/span><\/p>\n What happened in the past can\u2019t be undone. However, how we choose to perceive the future is in our control. How we claim our true self back is in our power.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/jilnajasani.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/dark-fire-time-paper-33930-scaled.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ max_width=”100%” min_height=”670px” height=”1000px” max_height=”607px”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ text_font_size=”19px”]<\/p>\n The healing journey reveals that underneath all the beliefs and ways of thinking, there is a whole CURIOUS person, who is free. When we understand this, we understand that we have nothing to control, fix, and manage. Therefore, we also understand that our children are whole, curious, self-expressed, and complete.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Curiosity has the power to transform us to our core, if we allow the pain to lead us. This pain is asking us to be curious. We intuitively know something feels off. The pain is a consistent reminder from the subconscious mind, because it wants us to revive our true self.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/jilnajasani.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/photo-of-baby-walking-on-lakeside-3934018-scaled.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” height=”507px”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ text_font_size=”19px”]<\/p>\n Allow me to share a personal story.<\/span><\/p>\n We enrolled Jian in pre-school at 18 months. I had a choice to keep him home with me, but I was already knee-deep in culture\u2019s conditioning around \u201csocializing children with their peers from a young age.\u201d So off I went and enrolled him in a Montessori program, thinking that this child-led program would help (1) nurture his needs for love and understanding and (2) soothe my anxiety around socializing him.<\/span><\/p>\n He resisted with all his might from Day 1, hysterically crying and flailing his arms and legs, hoping we would see that he wasn\u2019t ready, while the teachers of the school tried to console my nerves (but in hindsight completely hijacked my inner child), with how \u201cnormal\u201d his behavior was and that with practice he would adjust.<\/span><\/p>\n I was left with mixed thoughts of:<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m scared.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cHe needs to socialize.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAm I doing the right thing?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhat if he ends up hating me for this?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m hurting him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m hurting.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n As time went on, he began to manifest social and separation anxiety. Furthermore, I began to notice my forceful behavior of sending him to school every day, resulting in his resentment towards me. He began to favor Jigar over me.<\/span><\/p>\n Jigar became his first choice, no matter what! He screamed and wailed when I fed him. He hit and bit me constantly. The emotional pain I experienced became unbearable.<\/span><\/p>\n A child who has been forced into doing or saying something that feels unnatural to them, by an adult who is fearful of their own ego self, will experience a loss of their true self.<\/span><\/p>\n This loss creates egoic thought patterns in children such as:<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m in danger.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t trust this person.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThey won\u2019t believe me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cIs something wrong with me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cMaybe it\u2019s my fault.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThey don\u2019t like me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n When these thoughts are left unprocessed, an emotion is created. On a physical level, the emotions come and go, but they create constrictions in our body that create discomfort or become physically painful.<\/span><\/p>\n At home:<\/span><\/p>\n My asthma flared, while Jian started to experience tummyaches.<\/span><\/p>\n I started to eat more, while Jian started to eat less.<\/span><\/p>\n I had intense outbursts of anger, while Jian began to bite his nails.<\/span><\/p>\n I became addicted to working, while Jian began to resist rest and sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n In the turbulence of experiencing my pain and witnessing Jian\u2019s, I hit rock bottom and began to seek deeper answers.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I learned how to sit with my feelings and watch my thoughts. I learned how to practice not attaching to the way I was taught to think about things and to explore how my inner child may have perceived situations.<\/span><\/p>\n And I began to ask myself all sorts of questions, like:<\/span><\/p>\n Why is this parenting experience so hard?<\/span><\/p>\n Why is it so hard for me to express myself?<\/span><\/p>\n Why doesn\u2019t Jian see my purest intentions?<\/span><\/p>\n Why am I so angry?<\/span><\/p>\n Why is Jian so sensitive?<\/span><\/p>\n Why do I feel the need to force him to socialize at 18 months?<\/span><\/p>\n Who would he be if he didn\u2019t socialize?<\/span><\/p>\n This curiosity led me to enter into a journey back to myself. It revealed to me how judgmental my ego mind was. How trapped and confined my thoughts were. Most things in my life had pre-defined, absolute truths, such as:<\/span><\/p>\n