[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#a397a7″ custom_padding=”7px|||||”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ width=”100%” saved_tabs=”all” collapsed=”off”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/jilnajasani.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/jillna-flower-topper-01.png” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ max_width=”350px” module_alignment=”center”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_post_title meta=”off” featured_image=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ title_font=”Kurale|||on|||||” title_text_align=”center” title_font_size=”40px”][\/et_pb_post_title][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/jilnajasani.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/5-Core-Life-Lessons-and-Values-I-Desire-for-Myself-and-Jian.jpg” _builder_version=”4.4.2″][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.2″ width=”100%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ text_font_size=”19px” header_font_size=”45px” header_2_font=”|||on|||||” header_2_font_size=”32px” custom_padding=”||0px|||”]<\/p>\n
From the point of view of our true self,<\/span><\/p>\n we don\u2019t need to get love, because we are Love.<\/span><\/p>\n we don\u2019t need to seek truth, because we are Truth.<\/span><\/p>\n we don\u2019t need to be free, because we are Free.<\/span><\/p>\n we don\u2019t need to be curious, because we are Curious.<\/span><\/p>\n we don\u2019t need to be vulnerable, because we are Vulnerable.<\/span><\/p>\n we don\u2019t need to express ourselves, because we are Self-expressed.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n When we defend our ego, we constrict what we naturally are, and we constrict our hearts from feeling.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n This constriction creates the emotions of:<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/jilnajasani.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/N-vs.-N-Flight-Fight-or-Freeze_3-scaled.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ max_height=”607px”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ text_font_size=”19px”]<\/p>\n Over time, this constriction has created walls so the emotions are trapped. As adults we\u2019ve become prisoners of these walls, which is why we feel we are the emotion, like <\/span>I am angry<\/span><\/i>, when in fact we feel anger.<\/span><\/p>\n These points of constriction are referred to as Trauma.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Trauma is:<\/span><\/p>\n Trauma\u2019s effects are far-reaching. It shapes our view of the world, causes constricted and limited perception, overrides our gut feelings that help us survive, makes it difficult to stay in the present moment, and even changes our nervous system.<\/span><\/p>\n A.H. Almaas says, \u201cThe fundamental thing that happened and the greatest calamity is not that there was no understanding or support. The greater calamity which was caused by that first calamity is that we have lost a connection to our true selves. That is much more important than whether or not your mother or father loved you or not.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Trauma can show up as:<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span>Trauma ignites our reactions with our children and changes our nervous system. Our instinctual flight, fight, or freeze reflex is set off, causing overreactions.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/jilnajasani.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/N-vs.-N-Flight-Fight-or-Freeze_9-scaled.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ max_width=”100%” min_height=”670px” height=”1000px” max_height=”607px”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ text_font_size=”19px”]<\/p>\n We flee by tuning out of the situation. Our attention becomes scattered and our thoughts create control. This may be associated with stomach upset or breathing problems.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/jilnajasani.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/N-vs.-N-Flight-Fight-or-Freeze_10-scaled.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” height=”611px”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ text_font_size=”19px”]<\/p>\n We fight by being defensive and argumentative, turning to discipline. We are in a defensive mode even when there is no danger. We have a bias towards the danger.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/jilnajasani.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/N-vs.-N-Flight-Fight-or-Freeze_11-scaled.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ width=”100%” max_width=”100%” min_height=”670px” max_height=”607px”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ text_font_size=”19px”]<\/p>\n We freeze by becoming passive and shutting down. We walk away in fear of a confrontation. We are not using the higher circuits in the brain to investigate and understand our experience.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/jilnajasani.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/N-vs.-N-Flight-Fight-or-Freeze_15-scaled.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ max_height=”670px”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ text_font_size=”19px”]<\/p>\n Trauma makes our future responses to the world more limited. It interferes with the natural growth process. The natural growth process mimics the growth of nature. For example, a tree is an example of natural curiosity, free-flowing self-expression, and vulnerability to the present moment. Trauma hinders that process.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Trauma constricts our capacity to see and think clearly. This inability to see and think clearly affects how flexible and open we can be with our responses to our children. It\u2019s safe to say that the more reactive our responses (flight, fight, or freeze), the more traumatized we are and the more limited our responses can be.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Take for example these situations with our children. They are not traumatized when they feel pain, but rather when their perception becomes more limited by our reactions.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n\n
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